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Post by roostergore on Mar 3, 2010 21:52:06 GMT -5
Who would make it to the end, how would the others go down?
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Post by Captain Midnight on Mar 3, 2010 23:34:25 GMT -5
Ash, hail to the king, baby.
The others would simply run from him. I can't comment on the Candyman as I've not seen that and I have no idea who The Face is.
Jason Kills Freddy. Leatherface kills Edward Cullen, who is defenseless since all he can do is brood and sparkle. Ash drinks a beer and loads his boom stick.
Jason kills Leatherface with his own chainsaw. Ash chants "Klaatu Verada Nic-ough-cough." This opens a gateway to Hell, sucking in Pinhead.
Ash shoots Jason with his boom stick, then cuts him into bloody Beggin' Strips with his chainsaw hand. Jason is so amazed that he's getting his ass kicked by Bruce Campbell, that he can do nothing but hope it ends quickly and that Bruce with give him an autograph.
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Post by roostergore on Mar 4, 2010 18:46:21 GMT -5
Sorry, The Face is supposed to be the Shape Michael Myers.
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Post by Captain Midnight on Mar 4, 2010 19:26:02 GMT -5
Sorry, The Face is Michael Myers. Huh. I've heard of him referred to as The Shape . . . The Face is a new one on me. Still, I stand my main man, Ash. ;D
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Post by roostergore on Mar 5, 2010 16:05:16 GMT -5
Lol, you are so correct...what in the hell am I thinking!!! Of course I get Edwards name right. Oh well, time for some heavy editing.
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bigmac
Revolting Revenant
You mean the movie lied!?!?!?
Posts: 1,508
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Post by bigmac on Mar 6, 2010 23:11:12 GMT -5
Ash all the way.
Let's see, Ash uses Edward as a decoy to avoid the hooks sent out by Pinhead, then uses the chainsaw to cut the head Cenobite down to size. Pinhead goes down, screaming in both agony and ecstasy, while Ash shouts out, "Pleasure. Pain. I'm the one with the saw."
Leatherface charges, but we all know, chainsaw fu does not trump chainsaw and shotgun fu. Leatherface drops in a pile of his own viscera, while Ash says, "Chew on that, jerky boy."
Meanwhile, Edward has extracted himself from Pinhead's hooks, just in time for Ash to use him as a human shield against Freddy's glove. As Freddy gouges into Edward, Ash severs his hand, shoves his boomstick up Freddy's nose and says "Where's the glove?" before pulling the trigger. Just to make sure Freddy's down for the count, Ash starts carving like it's a Deadite Thanksgiving.
Naturally, this gives The Shape a chance to sneak up on Ash. Fortunately, Edward the Human Shield is nearby, and Ash uses him to block the incoming knife attack. As Edward's sparkling body blinds Micheal, Ash unloads his boomstick point blank in the chest.
Candyman unleashes a swarm of bees at Ash. As vampires are not terrible harmed by stinging insects, Ash rushes in with Edward in the lead (not by choice, of course). Once in range, Candyman loses in a game of rock, hook, chainsaw. Ash's final strike is deep into the beehived chest of Candyman, spraying him with the sticky golden fruits of the bee's labor. "Give me some honey, baby," Ash screams as he bisects the urban legend.
Naturally, Micheal's getting up, but Ash stops that nonsense with a chainsaw blow to the top of the head. "Like I didn't see that coming," Ash shouts as The Shape's mask falls to the ground in two pieces, followed by the remains of Micheal's brain.
Edward has finally pulled the last of the bee stingers from him, just in time for Ash to use him as a human shield once again to Jason's machete attack. Which suits Jason fine, as Edward looks a bit like on of those camp councilors he's been killing for years. However, the machete doesn't pull out of Edward quick enough to give Jason a second strike, and Ash lops off his arm, a leg, then his head. As Jason lays twitching on the ground, Ash pauses for a moment, then shrugs. "I got nothing," he mutters, then spins around to face his final adversary.
Edward finally wrenches the machete free and stares down Ash. "Just you and me now," he hisses.
Ash moves in, punches the vampire in the nose and stands stunned as Edward hits the ground crying. "What a wuss," he mutters before bringing the chainsaw down on Edward in a final, gory spray of blood. He then walks over to Bella, sweeps her up in his arms and says, "Hail to the king, baby. You eighteen yet?"
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Post by roostergore on Mar 7, 2010 13:58:14 GMT -5
Lol..lol..lol. ;D
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808synikal
Creeping Corpse
Sippin Molotovs
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Post by 808synikal on Mar 23, 2010 22:00:02 GMT -5
Ash.
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misterd
Frightful Fiend
Posts: 1,220
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Post by misterd on Mar 27, 2010 15:07:22 GMT -5
Face?
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Post by Captain Midnight on Mar 27, 2010 15:11:37 GMT -5
He means The Shape aka Micheal Myers . . . see posts above.
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Post by Professor Damian on Mar 27, 2010 21:30:38 GMT -5
Though my heart's with Ash (actually, he may be the only one on the list with a heart that's still beating, lol), I have to give it, in the end, to Jason... as long as we're talking "classic" Jason and not whoever that was attempting to impersonate him in the "remake"...
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Post by badgerangel on Apr 24, 2010 23:42:13 GMT -5
Ash is da bomb, but Michael ALWAYS. GETS. UP.
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Post by deckard on Apr 28, 2010 13:17:56 GMT -5
I concur Badgerangel - Michael wouldn't die.
He's not dead now, just sleeping while Rob Zombie has some actor pretend to be him.
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misterd
Frightful Fiend
Posts: 1,220
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Post by misterd on Apr 29, 2010 19:17:52 GMT -5
It'd be Freddy and Candyman in a stalemate.
All the rest are corporeal entities, and could be knocked down/taken out by anyone else in the list. As ghosts (or whatever), Freddy and Candyman have an advantage in that they need never materialize. They could afford to wait until the rest had finished each other off. The question is how do Freddy and Candyman take out each other? Can Candyman invade the dream world? Does Freddy have the ability to haunt a ghost?
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Post by bubba522 on Sept 11, 2010 20:00:26 GMT -5
Okay. Here's why it can only be Ash. Jason sees Ash in the woods with a boomstick AND a chainsaw. Jason turns and flees. Freddy has nightmares that Ash will get HIM. Leatherface takes one look at Ash's CHAINSAW HAND and hangs his head in disgust that he didn't think of that. The Shape may be the Boogeyman, but Ash works in retail. The boogeyman is Small change. Edward? Really? Pinhead can show you all the tortures of hell but Ash was tortured by his own hand. AND WON! Candyman. HMMM, let's see. Hook for a hand versus chainsaw for a hand. No contest. The Winner and STILL undefeated... ASH!!!!!
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